(If above player does not work, click "Pride vs Humility: The Battle for the Soul of the Believer" for audio recording of khutbah) - [opens in a separate window]
Al-Furqan (25:63)
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا
For, [true] servants of the Most Gracious are [only] they who walk gently on earth...
Al-Hajj (22:34)
وَاحِدٌ فَلَهُ أَسْلِمُوا وَبَشِّرِ الْمُخْبِتِينَ
And give thou the glad tiding [of God’s acceptance] unto all who are humble...
An-Nahl (16: 22-23)
(16:22)
Your God is the One God: but because of their false pride, the hearts of those who do not believe in the life to come refuse to admit this [truth]. Truly, God knows all that they keep secret as well as all that they bring into the open -[and,] behold, He does not love those who are given to arrogance (لاَ يُحِبُّ الْمُسْتَكْبِرِينَ)...
Part 1
Today, I was hoping to speak about patience and how we inculcate it, so that we can become of the ‘uboodiyah (or those who truly humble themselves before Allah). It was supposed to be a continuation of the last two khutbahs I gave. In one I spoke about faith and what it means to have firm sincerity in belief when it comes to Allah. In the follow-up to that I discussed how gratitude is a key part of our faith. I mentioned how the scholar Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah stated that iman consists of patience and gratitude. However, sometimes something happens and it shakes you to the point that you begin to wonder what all of it is about; why even speak about all these things when you know YOU. When you know that as you speak to people about things, you look back at yourself and wonder if you are faking it...
This khutbah is a tough one. I honestly tried to get out of doing it because earlier on this week I asked myself, what can you possibly go up there and speak about, and not feel like a hypocrite at the end of the khutbah? Anyway, something happened that made me question me as a person. I am going to speak today about pride and humility. I want to speak about how they are opposite forces that tug at our souls: one pulling us to destruction of self and others and one that pulls us to success with Allah. I decided to do it, not because I think I have a wealth of info to share, but because I agreed to do it, and when Allah tests you, you cannot shirk or avoid the responsibilities you have... Additionally, one brother said to me, “Well, at least when you say ‘I am saying this to myself first’, this time you will REALLY be saying it to yourself first.’ (Insert smiley face here).
Brothers and sisters, as Muslims, we will strive and we will struggle. We will have different levels of success. Similarly, we will have different levels of failure. Some of us are able to avoid things like zina, gambling and alcohol, which are successes, but we cannot seem to avoid the backbiting, slander, laziness, pride, etc., which are failures. Some of us cannot seem to avoid the zina and the gambling which are failures, but we help anyone who asks us and we are generous to a fault - no one asks and they do not get assistance... That is a success. So, we have varying degrees of success and failure. Although we have varying levels of success and failure - each one is relative to the person feeling it - we need to remember that we will all be tested, and the answer to each test is the same: rely on Allah and His Messenger and you will have the success you need. But that is such a broad statement, what does it mean? I want to suggest that one possible meaning is to avoid pride and to seek out the changes in ourselves that will allow us to inculcate humility. A proud heart will not accept Allah’s guidance. A proud heart will not accept the teachings of Muhammad (saws). Only a humble heart and soul will do that. So if pride is the thing that moves us away from Allah, humility is the thing that will bring us back.
Before I go further, in the verse I mentioned above, the word used for humility is “hawna”... The varying meanings of this word include: to become easy, to be of little importance, insignificant, esteem lightly, and other words that indicate that suggest transitive and intransitive states of existence and actions.
The word that Allah uses to describe the ones He (swt) does not like is “mustakbireen” which is from the word “kibr”... The meanings that come from the word kibr include: bigness, increase, magnify, exalt, glorify, praise, celebrate... Etc...
These two states are polar opposites to each other. We cannot be servants who walk the earth with humility (hawnan) and still be of those who engage in kibr (mustakbireen). These states are mutually exclusive.
Why you WILL fall off ever so often:
Sometimes you wonder why ABC or XYZ is happening to you. Sometimes you may begin to lose hope or begin to despair that ABC is happening. I know it has happened to me. Something happened and at first you cannot believe it is happening and then you wonder why is this happening to me? If we are ever wondering why things happen the way they do, we have clear answers:
- Allah will test you with good and bad
- 2:155 And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of [labour's] fruits.
- Allah will test your reported mettle/ What is said of you and you say of yourself
- We shall try you until We test those among you who strive their utmost and persevere in patience; and we shall try your reported (mettle).
- 47:31 and most certainly We shall try you all, so that We might mark out those of you who strive hard [in Our cause] and are patient in adversity: for We shall put to a test [the truth of] all your assertions (akhbarakum - your assertions) - to notify, to know, to experience.
- Tafsir: And We will assuredly try you, We will assuredly test you by way of [commanding you to participate in] the struggle and in other ways, until We know, with knowledge outwardly manifested, those of you who struggle [for God’s cause] and those who are steadfast, in [adhering to] the struggle and in other ways, and We will appraise, We will reveal, your record, in terms of [whether you acted with] obedience or disobedience in what concerns the struggle (all three verbs may be read with the [third person singular] yā’ or with the [first person plural] nūn).
- Mettle: A person's ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way:
- Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves. (3:186)
- Do men think that they will be left alone on saying “We believe” and that they will not be tested? (29:2)
- Shaytan will come at you
- We know the promise that Shaytan made... We know that he will be waiting for us on Allah’s straight path. We know that he will not let up. We know that his pride and arrogance led him to jealousy, led him to disobedience, led him to the fire... This is something we know. He is the master whisperer. There is a surah in the Qur’an we all recite to ward him off. Although we know shaytan whispers into the minds of men, this verse tells us that he whispers into our chests/our hearts. Link this back to the hadith of the Prophet about the part of the body if corrupt, then the whole organism is corrupt.
- You are imperfect
- We know that we have our natural fitrah which brings us back to Allah. However, we also know that perfection is with Allah alone. We know that man is given to pride. We know that man is given to haste. We know we are not perfect.
- Pride
- You think you are good. You think you have it in order. You think that you are running this. Just then, Allah reminds you of who is really in charge. Your ujb (arrogance) or kibr (pride) can get to a point at which your wrong actions seem right. This is dangerous. You did not start off as a wrong action. But along the way, what was a good action, may become a wrong action. Give you an example. Let’s say you give counseling. You realize that there are people who need help. One day you find a sister or brother who you counsel privately and you see that they start to improve. You now begin to seek out these brothers or sisters who were divorced because you know that you can help them. But, as you do that, you find that your language with them is becoming more casual, you begin to say things that before you did not say. But, in your head, you justify it by saying that it is for the greater good. Yes, that is a valid principle in Islam (what brings more benefit), but this is not that. We cannot take valid principles and co-opt them for our benefit.
As human beings, we are blessed with many things: wealth, intellect, and success. We must acknowledge that these blessings are provided to us by Allah and we must thank Him. God's blessings towards us are trials and opportunities for us to earn His approval and acceptance as believers. If we continue to live without true humility, our actions will continue to be destroyed by arrogance, conceit, and selfish ambition. By continuously thanking the Most Beneficent and Merciful for the blessings He has provided us, we avoid becoming arrogant and are able to join the ranks of the true Muslims.
If pride can cause you to slip, then humility is the way back to Allah.
What happens when you slip:
- Question yourself as a person
- Question your worth
- Wonder if you are faking it
- You see hypocrisy in many of your actions
- But the worse thing, is that you may fall into ingratitude
- You forget all the other stuff that Allah has given you (if you are focused on the trial Allah has has given you and you are focused on how you look and how you feel, you forget the blessings and mercies He has given you)... Remember, more than anything, Shaytan wants you to be ungrateful. He wants you to get so caught up in yourself, that you forget Allah's siffat or His attributes
What can we do?
- Turn to Allah - Allah wants us to turn to him in repentance.
- "Surely Allah loves those who turn unto him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves." (2:222)
- The Prophet PBUH said: “"If you did not commit sins, Allah would sweep you out of existence and replace you by another people who would commit sins, ask for Allah's forgiveness and He would forgive them."” (Muslim)
- Understand who we are
- Remember when Allah created man, what did the angels ask?
- Do not get stuck in the denial phase - stages of grief (before death)
- Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief
- Be humble so that we can receive Allah’s mercy:
- Tad'a
- Before thee We sent messengers to many nations, and We afflicted the nations with suffering and adversity, that they call Allah in humility. When the suffering reached them from Us, why then did they not call Allahin humility? On the contrary, their hearts became hardened, and Satan made their sinful acts seem alluring to them. (Al-Anaam 6:42-43)
- Call on your Lord with humility and in private, for Allah loves not those who transgress beyond bounds. Do not mischief on the earth, after it has been set in order, but call on Him with fear and longing in your hearts, for the Mercy of Allah is always near to those who do good. (Al-Araf 7:55-56)
- Khasha'a
- Successful indeed are the believers, those who humble themselves in their prayers... (Al-Muminoon 23:1-2)
- Has not the time arrived for the believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed to them... (Al-Hadid 57:16)
Three verses wrap this up very neatly:
2:155 - 157
And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of [labour's] fruits. But give glad tidings unto those who are patient in adversity. Who, when calamity befalls them, say, "Verily, unto God do we belong and, verily, unto Him we shall return." It is they upon whom their Sustainer's blessings and grace are bestowed, and it is they, they who are on the right path!
Remember, we receive more good than we deserve and we are not given the amount of punishment that we deserve. Let us ask Allah to soften our hearts, increase us in gratitude and forgive us our sins.
Part II
Brothers and sisters, I have spent some time to try to show that there is always a way back to Allah. That pride is something that can manifest itself in many ways, and throw you off the path. Once you are thrown off your game, humility is the only way back. We need to remember that our pride can be dealt with in one of two ways: humiliation or humility. Humiliation is external, it is when you are taken to task, generally publicly for the actions that your pride has brought forward. Humility is more internal. It is a recognition of your role and your duty. It is a recognition of who you are in the grand scheme of things. We need to remember that humility will most definitely prevent humiliation, but humiliation may not necessarily lead to humility.
Pride is like riding on a train... It moves fast, you are comfortable... You get caught up in thinking that YOU have it under control... When it crashes, it is destructive... Humility is like riding on a donkey... You see that your actions are directly responsible for the direction... You see that it is not just about you the rider, but also the donkey... If you push it too hard or do not think about what it needs along each step of the way, you may end up not reaching your destination.
Action Plan:
- Du’a
- Make SINCERE du’a
- Ask for Allah’s forgiveness - it will lead you to humility and help soften your heart.
- Ahadith
- Anas bin Malik Al-Ansari narrated that the Prophet (saws) said: “Verily Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His slave than a person who lost his camel in a desert land and then finds it unexpectedly” (Bukhari and Muslim)
- Say this dua: “Rabb-igfirli wa tubb alayya innaka anta-tawwaabur-Rahim” (My Lord, forgiveme and pardon me. Indeed You of Oft-Returning with compassion and Ever merciful)
- Ibn ‘Umar narrated that they heard the Prophet saw that 100 times in a sitting. Found in the Sunan Abu-Dawud and At-Tirmidhi)
- Say: Astaghfirullah alladhi la ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyum wa atubu ilaihi (I seek forgiveness of Allah. There is no true god except Allah, the Ever living, the Self-subsisting and I turn to him in repentance)... It is narrated that he who says this, will have his sins forgiven.
- Follow a good bad deed with a good one so that we can remove it.
- Renew your intentions
- Shaytan’s job is to slip in wherever he can. Renew your intentions. Just think of how EASY it is to lose focus when you pray. It is a mercy for us that in fiqh (depending on your school of thought) as long as you have that intention/khushu’/focus at the start, your prayer still has a chance to be accepted. How many of us are focused and intend on praying when we go make wudhu, run across the street, etc... We do all of that with clear purpose and focus. We are doing well. Then, the minute you stand in line, you get distracted or may even begin praying so that someone else can say you are praying well. Shaytan slips in whenever he can. So, if we can lose our focus and our intention when we are communicating directly with Allah, so too we can lose our intention and focus when ripping and running about the dunya (even thought we start off intending to do good).
- Seek forgiveness
- Hadith of the companion who called Bilal the son of a Black. Once the Prophet told him that jahiliyyah had not left his heart, what did he do? He sought out Bilal. The companion then bowed to the ground and asked Bilal to put his foot on his head.
Let us be grateful for His mercies, thankful for His guidance, compassionate with His creation and fearful of His punishment.
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